If you check my blog regularly, you may be wondering what happened to me?!? This is probably the longest I’ve gone in a while without sending something out into cyberspace. Well, I’ve been doing a variety of cool things that are spreading me a little thin, but are totally worth it. Some of my time has even been spent traveling with Scott Truax from FamilyConnect and talking to parents in other states, which is more than cool.
When discussing my recent excessive travel with anyone, their first question is about how my family handles my absence. Honestly, they don’t miss a beat. The reason they do so well whether I’m home or away is because of this guy. For once, “this guy” doesn’t mean Eddie, but my fantastic husband, James…seen here taking a well-deserved nap with the fantastic Eddie.
I realize that not every parent has a co-parent, and not every family has a parent with a flexible work schedule. I know that I’m lucky to have both. We all need at least one steadfast support person in our lives…for me that person is James. He doesn’t even flinch when I say I’ll be leaving for a couple days…or even a week.
I think it can be hard to tell what kind of parent a person will be until they actually have children. With that in mind, we all are rolling the dice when we decide to start a life with someone. When you add a child with special needs…all bets are off. Our true parenting strengths (and weaknesses) come to the surface when a challenging child is born.
Our first challenge with Eddie came up in the hospital only days after his birth. We learned that he’d need to be transferred to a NICU in another city by ambulance. Quickly I realized that James had disappeared. I found him in the back of the nursery…crying in a supply closet. Although I always knew he could be a rock when I needed it, I didn’t know that he could grieve with me until that point…as we grieved the loss of a healthy newborn and accepted the baby we had instead.
So even though we argue over parenting tactics, and don’t always agree with Eddie’s course of education…I still trust him. Even last week he was discussing cane tips with Eddie’s orientation and mobility teacher and I was perfectly OK to be out of the loop. This isn’t a trait that I learned easily; giving up control is difficult for us moms.
As I left town a couple weeks ago, I called him and admitted that I’d been a little edgy, and that I appreciated all he was doing for me and the kids. He quickly asked if I’d just left my therapist…
…which is funny because I don’t have a therapist, but we both know I probably need one. So, as I prepare to leave town tomorrow for another quick trip, I know I leave the kids in good hands. We typically honor Dads in June, but I just couldn’t wait. Recognizing the support people in our lives is simply too important to put off another day.